As the holidays approach, planners quietly get to work.
We think through the meals, the gatherings, the decorations, and yes, even the cleanup we know is coming.
We don’t always want to take it on, but our family and friends expect it. Without someone stepping in, nothing gets done until we do it.
For me, this started early. I grew up in a loud, chaotic Italian-Irish family that talked a lot without much doing, so someone had to get things moving.
The pot roast
Have you ever heard about the pot roast story? If not, here’s how it goes.
After school one day, a young girl noticed her mother cutting the ends off a pot roast before putting it in the oven. She had seen this many times but had never asked why, so curious, she finally did.
Her mother paused and said she wasn’t really sure. It was simply how her own mother had always done it, and suggested asking Grandma.
The girl called her grandmother, who gave the same answer. She didn’t know the reason either. It was just the way her mother had always done it. She suggested the girl ask her great-grandmother.
So the girl called her great-grandmother and asked the same question. This time, the answer was different. Her great grandmother said “To make it fit into the pan”.
She said that when she was newly married, they could only afford a small pan, and the pot roast would only fit if she cut the ends off.
That’s the pot roast principle.
In my family, it’s cutting the top ends off the romaine for Caesar salad. My mom had a “secret Caesar” recipe, though it wasn’t much of a secret since she shared it with everyone. She always trimmed the ends, and I never thought to ask why.
Funny enough, when I make her Caesar salad now, I catch myself doing the exact same thing.
Follow a new path
This happens all the time when we manage projects. We follow processes, templates, and decisions because “that’s how it’s always been done,” without stopping to ask whether the original constraint still exists. The pan may be bigger now, but we’re still cutting the ends off the roast.
When we don’t step back to question assumptions, we limit our options, slow progress, and miss chances to work smarter. Sometimes the most valuable thing a project manager can do is pause, ask why, and see if the box we are working in can be expanded.
And as you step into your assumed role as holiday planner this season, remember that it’s okay to question a few family assumptions along the way.
With 20+ years project management experience, Barbara Kephart has led projects across industries like medical software, clinical trials, and cybersecurity. With experience teaching technical project management and stakeholder engagement, Barbara is dedicated to helping companies pivot, prioritize, and complete projects with Chief Project Officer-level expertise, project professionals, practical training, and hands-on management—without the executive-level price tag.